Hello, frail heart.
One big example of this for me is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am seeing again in a fresh way how saturating and singular in my heart this gospel is really supposed to be. You're not supposed to live with one foot on one side of a line, one foot on the other. You're all in.
The sweetness of the Gospel though is that the word 'supposed to' is not the word that rings first in the Christian's ears. Grace brings you to 'Amazingly, I get to'. For me, that is why hymns are so powerful. I think that people who wrote hymns were doing this amazing thing of blending what grace compelled them to understand about their changed selves and how to express it to a broken and suffering world.
I thought about things in my bones again yesterday as I was leaving church. I had this very profound and holy and quiet moment all my own while outside on the sidewalk. Everything was brilliant, cold, February. I heard 'Tis So Sweet' through the walls at church, and my church sings it intensely, which I like because it reminds me that this song is not trite. If you trust Jesus, you see at the same time how much your sinful little self often DOESN'T trust him . And then you sing, 'Oh for grace to trust him more', and you DO want more, in a good, aching way.
In that one sentence alone, I am brought back to this fuller meaning of grace. Not all is right with the world, but all is right with Jesus. There is a finished story, even when it feels like you're stuck in the middle. That was my peace on the sidewalk. This is still ringing in my ears this week.
So that's one BIG thing I constantly retreat to in a wave-tossed world. A smaller thing, still good, is this song.
Read anything on this blog, and you often find that I am turned back to songs. And there they stay with me, lined up with heartbeats, and they talk to me through the day. Songs say things to lots of people. Today it is 'Restless', God's pursuit of people, and how humanity is thirsty for Living Water. It's amazing how powerful words can be in music. And how much of an emotional memory 'Switchfoot' really is. (Come on people, you know what I mean.)
I am doing my life today and thinking about my sinful heart. How small and frail I am, which you'd think would not be so great to consider. Why linger there? It brings up the painful crevices of a striving life, at least if you're not careful to fall on offered grace. But thankfully, it's the first happy place of the Christian life because it tells you about the rest of yourself. That God chose to take on this little frailness in a big way, and reconcile us to Him.
I'll tell what you what is the BEST thing about praying and teaching at the same time. Aside from looking at God's people, and seeing how they say things back to you about the world. Aside from THAT, closer and more personal to the me that is me, is God's voice in my ear as I teach.
I have always had a fascination with God and time. I think He is artful here. I also love that He transcends it. Because I think of it so much in a historical context, this is one of the most comforting things I like to remember about who God is.
There I stand, telling the kids about centuries, and how to know about time and how to interpret things historians tell us. And while I am doing this, I am hearing 'I am restless, looking for You' from Switchfoot....and St. Augustine of Hippo. And God is telling me that He talked to people in those centuries, just like He is talking to me right now. That the Spirit moves throughout the earth like this through time. My classroom, my own frail heart, this day.....it's all a part of it.
I believe the story of Jesus, and this gospel which offers salvation to humanity is a big story that is simple to understand. I believe it is being bound and tied together intricately and artfully. And that the hope of glory, eternity now, the Spirit of the Living God, is in me. It can live in you too. You ask for Jesus, even though you know you don't deserve it, and your world shifts and changes and you're new again. Brought into this story of redemption throughout all of time in all parts of the world.
Like everyone, I'm often restless. Forgetful, and looking for things that don't point to God. And then I find Him, whispering to me as I teach, very personally and quietly while I'm feeling so public. It is the least place I'd expect God to get to me in a whisper. But of course that's what He does. And I'm no longer restless. This peace, this not striving anymore....I have only found this in Jesus.
St. Augustine was right....our hearts are always restless until we find God. We long for a home we don't yet know but know, deep down in an ache for something not broken. Jesus makes this reconciliation possible. Sinful humanity has been rescued. It confounds people in its simplicity and beauty and it changes our world. It's been doing this in the hearts of people for a long, long time.
What simple, good, lovely thing is God saying to you?
No comments:
Post a Comment