Straight to you, past everything....all sounds and voices and distractions, and right to the place you needed to be tended. I think that God does that to remind you of Himself and that you are, as a beloved person that He has made, being seen and talked to in your day.
What song this week is getting to you?
This is the song that settles me down. It's a big giant message from the Jesus I love that there is something calm going on. There is something with a cadence and a rhythm, even though nothing in my world but the bell schedule I walk through feels figured out.
If I am honest, the pace of my life since the beginning of school has been one that feels like wrestling something to the ground. Certain inner quietude has eluded me, and I know why. There are many goings on, more than before, and to do anything well there will always now be a greater intensity.
That's a vague description from my corner of the world, but I am sure, on some or many levels, you can relate to these things.
For a Seven (who wants see every beautiful thought and idea and person and action and....) with a penchant for doing things well in one fell swoop, this gets vulnerable. It is easier to be hard on myself but gracious towards other people. And let me tell you, if you get like that, you get locked in. It's easy to hide out. (Read: I have to change and adapt and I am so slow to this lesson.)
This is, therefore, a confession of perfectly acceptable imperfection. And the direction I take out of it.
The thing is that life is made up of set times. There is a cadence here, and it is good. I am not able to do everything in one day. (Obviously....but I always want to.) So then I find that I say....
'Rome was not built in a day. Rome was not built in a day. Rome was not built in a day.'
Is that history teacher therapy? Maybe.
People with a different personality find this ridiculous....'How can she not just want to put the next thing in line, and the next, and the next? It's the easiest thing. It is sometimes the only thing.' I do this friends, and happily, but sometimes when I am tired and worn out, this is the hardest thing. Any rhythm of grace that I live in comes from Jesus.
This morning I am reading about Jesus who calms the storm, and resting in the words that have always reminded me of the truest thing of my life. That Christ has set me free. I live within storms, but I do not bend to them. I am perfectly imperfect.
People talk about perfect a lot. I know. But I just asked myself why and saw again that it's because perfection, or wanting it, makes you tight. You don't breathe the same way and the light goes out of your eyes. I feel passionate about this look not resting on other people, so why could I be so ok with it resting on me? So now when the inner landscape of my life is at best a scattered mess, I pray this.....
Thank you.
For Your mercy
For Your wild grace that has chased me down to this place of humility
For keeping me awestruck
For Your love.
I found it a few weeks ago, at the exact moment when 'wild grace' and 'being chased down' were terms that felt like 'me and God' best. It has reminded me of my pride and imperfection.
Happy secret I want revealed....
The cadence of life in front of Jesus....
My morning manifesto.....
Being just so chased down by wild grace and just so human has once again been my liberation.
And then, silence. And breathing again....heart unclenched....aims of perfection nowhere in sight.....(Join me here!)
And now I am able to plan the lessons.
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