Hiding Within The Vine

Sometimes when life is loud you move through it differently than you would in the deep silence of another season, one less full.  I like reading things from a bunch of people out there in the world who maintain a site called 'The Art of Simple', and of course it's because they're interested in simplicity.  Like me.  We live in a really complicated world, and the older I get, the more I see with real depth and clarity, that I like things simple.




Simple glasses in the cupboard.
Simple words on the page.
Simple agendas.
Simple structures.

When I see simple, I feel like I can ramble around freely and see the world as it really is.  A generalist WOULD say this, never more so in spring.  When I think like this too, I am able to keep things aloft as I barrel quickly toward many end of the school year goals that must be finished, fast and intense and real and now. 

Breathe in, breathe out though right?  Take a pause.  Keep it simple.

A few things have really helped me this week in all of this talk of maintenance.  I've been present and mindful of Jesus in everything I do.  Or most everything.  What a revolutionary way to live in this world, when something like staying close to Jesus really happens. (Read: when you let go of a thing you never had without Him anyway.)  Gratefully, this isn't something I conjured up on my own.  If I've ever tried, I've miserably failed.  So stopping to quit thinking and live out of my heart has been enormously good. 

Also, people.  I love people, and there are good ones in my life who have enriched my world immeasurably.   I've not slept very much, but the time has been worthwhile and good.  My people are shifting and moving away.  It's better to stay up late into the night talking to them.  It's better to welcome them into my home as they pass through.  It's better to live out what I mean when I say I have ideas about hospitality.  I love my people, and being with them, especially outside and on patios, is amazing.

Then, you've got Brennan Manning.  I've gotten a few of his books, and I am soaking in his words this week, whenever I have a free moment.  He write about and references G.K. Chesterton and 'the furious love of God'.  He writes about and references a man who once talked about the promise of restoration and redemption in a world that is always now chaotic....'the isness of what shall be'.  Every time I have ever heard that sentence, and really thought about it, I've come to peace about whatever is in front of me. 

Brennan Manning was a beautiful person with a wide, harsh, eventually soft feeling story.  He tells stories like the ancients did, and it sounds different to modern ears, like if you were to read it aloud you'd pause at different times.  When he writes about anything, you can hear it in his voice.  I have loved this. I have needed this.


Finally, I have loved and repeated and sung and hoped along with three songs.  Two Josh Garrels.  One The Brilliance.   Which is not even something that makes sense, but I'm speaking like I'm a telegram, unless I'm teaching or writing e-mails to parents.  That's when words string together again. 

This beautiful music reminded me of how alive I am when I am aware of the person I really am.  Sinner saved by grace.  Falling on this grace and only at peace when I cease striving and wandering and wondering so much about a broken world.  It's not escapism.  The Gospel makes you face yourself, which is horrifying and terrible and beautiful in one fell swoop.  It's my peace, my life, anything good I've ever seen in this world.  And then I look around, past myself, and I see it everywhere else too.  I believe Jesus makes it so you can see yourself in these ways, and it is very good. 

These songs are here in their entirety....music and lyrics and also hopefulness that you will take a minute to let them build you up too.  Last week, JTB gave me this amazing collection of songs that speak of God and life and stories.  He's good at doing that, and at the right time for my very soul, which fills up my world and my heart.  Here are the songs, and here are the lyrics.  I put in bold the words that, every time, leapt off the page at me.  Someday, in a less intense kind of reverie, I think I will remember and claim very clearly these songs as the soundtrack to this spring season of my life.

Rest and enjoy.

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Stand on the shores of a site unseen
The substance of this dwells in me
Cause my natural eyes only go skin deep
But the eye’s of my heart anchor the sea
Plumbing the depths to the place in between
The tangible world and the land of a dreams
Because everything ain’t quite as it seems
There’s more beneath the appearance of things
A beggar could be king within the shadows,
Of a wing

And wisdom will honor everyone who will learn
To listen, to love, and to pray and discern
And to do the right thing even when it burns
And to live in the light through treacherous turns
A man is weak, but the spirit yearns
To keep on course from the bow to the stern
And throw overboard every selfish concern
That tries to work for what can’t be earned
Sometimes the only way to return is to go,
Where the winds will take you

And to let go, of all, you cannot hold onto
For the hope, beyond the blue

Yellow and gold as the new day dawns
Like a virgin unveiled who waited so long
To dance and rejoice and sing her song
And rest in the arms of a love so strong
No one comes unless they’re drawn
By the voice of desire that leads em’ along
To the redemption of what went wrong
By the blood that covers the innocent one
No more separation
Between us

So lift your voice just one more time
If there’s any hope may it be a sign
That everything was made to shine
Despite what you can see
So take this bread and drink this wine
And hide your spirit within the vine
Where all things will work by a good design
For those who will believe

And let go, of all, we cannot hold onto
For the hope, beyond, the blue

Said I let go, of all, I could not hold onto
For the hope, I have, in you

_____________________________

Through the darkness
Through the fire
Through my wicked heart’s desire
Your love remains, Your love remains Though I stumble
Though I falter
Through my weakness You are strong
Your love remains, Your love remains

Through my failure
Through my heartache
Through my healing
In my pain Your love remains, Your love remains
Though I stumble
Though I falter
Through my weakness You are strong
Your love remains, Your love remains

Oh my, my soul, it cries
Oh my, my soul, it cries out
Soul, it cries out
Soul, it cries, it cries, it cries, it cries out

_________________________________________

I will arise and follow you over
Savior, please, pilot me
Over the waves and through every sorrow
Savior, please, pilot me

 When I have no more strength left to follow
Fall on my knees, pilot me
May your sun rise and lead me on
Over the seas, Savior, pilot me