Push and Pull

Confession:
Today much of my little world felt chaotic.  I did not feel pulled together in any shape or form at all.  

Evidence that contributed to this feeling: 
....losing my credit card, being 'that person' in the checkout line later in the day with my debit card (I went home and got the checkbook), sitting on empty in traffic on 94, standardized testing, left out students, perpetual winter (that's true for everyone right now)...those are the small things that happened today. 

Chalk it up as experience or adaptable living or pure unpolished adventuring...whatever it was, it wasn't comfortable.




Then there are bigger things.  Who knows why it all came at once, but I was sent reeling today.  I was thinking to the nth degree about lots of terrible things...abductions, terrorist threats, natural disasters, hearing my student tell me his mom has cancer, accident scenes...by noon I wanted to hide away and read a book.  The empathy side of me was battling the real need for perspective and balance and timing.    

But promising good things happened too.  I got a book in the mail that I have been waiting for.  It's by one of my favorite authors.  Students were endearing and refreshing once again.  I got to talk with my grandma on the phone and she is the best.  It's Teacher Appreciation Week and the parents were generous and kind.  I bought a citronella candle in a yellow holder in honor of warmer weather and got excited about the hope of spring, even though I was buying something to ward off bugs.  I got really really excited about the fast approaching middle school musical.  I had a nice little chat with one of my colleagues about a quote that has set a rhythm for me in this weighty year at school. 

"Most things which are urgent are not important, and most things with are important are not urgent."  Dwight Eisenhower said this.  Breathe and repeat and smile.  She and I both agree that it is so true.

Self-timer gone wrong! 
Vow writing for BLL on Grand Avenue

One of the nicest things that happened all day was being able to talk with Briana about lots of things...the current state of the world, the weekend, wondering what God is really doing with human history, conspiracy theories, heating bills, trips to Mexico, and being real adults.  These things sound weighty, but they weren't.  They were good.  Talking with Briana was good.  She can make anything interesting and fun.  Thank you, friend.         
   
And that's that.

My theme song for the day in the mix of the chaos and the peace is by Sara Groves.  It's called 'Why It Matters'.   The lyrics seem to say it all...good, bad and in between and what can be true now.   So for that I am grateful.