In Which I Notice

In Which I Notice 

The things of life I notice
Are timeless, wondrous things
Refreshed, restored, recycled
Now once again, I see

Awkward, charming unsafe ground
Growing, moving sea
Full of angst and all great hope
Middle school in spring

When Your Life Is Nourished

I'm back to school today, and done with Spring Break, a week of my life which set me back on course in all things daily living.  

Last week I didn't dress up and talk about history for 6 hours with kids who are 12.  I organized my home, went to the dentist, and did my taxes.  I saw kindred spirit friends and did yoga.  I hung out with my parents. I thought about eating better food, and then started doing it.  I investigated nooks and crannies of my life, and then cleaned them.

I went to the Post Office during regular business hours and stood in line just to get stamps.  I can't even tell you how soul quieting and good it felt to do this one thing I really had to do. Ordinary is so good.  

Proving It

I've been thinking a lot these days about not having to prove anything, and how when you become an older person you see that more clearly.   Ambition though isn't synonymous with having to prove something.  I think you can still have your ambition and thrive in it and people will love you for it.  

Instead, not feeling the need to prove yourself so much forfeits over explaining something in exchange for appreciating what can speak for itself.  

Order and Mess

Yesterday I felt so American as I sat at my desk at school.  And not in a good way at all.   I was doing everything at once, adopting such a cultural norm in multitasking, and I believed it was the best and only way to be a teacher.  Thankfully though, and suddenly, in the midst of 

grading
attendance
direct teaching
responding to parent e-mails
individual conversations with students 
planning the D.C. trip
and imagining lesson plans for this week 

I just knew 

I had to 
stop.

Questions Wrapped in Grace

Today in life, a book I was reading caught me.  

I stood there in my very own ordinary life, so taken off guard that I HAD to stop and read right where I was.   Lunch was bliss....just me and a peanut butter sandwich and the quiet and this book.  

Deep down, I love to be a bookworm, all caught up in a story.  I have denied that part of my life lately, in the name of progress and efficiency and ridiculous things that kill your soul a little when you forget yourself on that level.  No longer.

This book, the one that caught me in heart and soul and everything, is Found by a woman called Micha Boyett.  (Ironic, I know.)

You can tell she is lovely, and her writing is profound.  I knew it was going to be holy and noticeable and good because of the book reviews.  I have never before underlined something already profound in a book review.  But today I had to.  See for yourself....

I Like Poems

It's been a long time since I've written things here or used this space because sometimes I am afraid to write.  Who knew THAT could be so scary?   I didn't....until I made myself write it.

The days have whooshed by me lately, and instead, my soul has dwelt in less life-giving things.  No writing here, and a complete avoidance of what I affectionately called 'the clickety clack', which is to say space to write and the time to enjoy it.  I have felt this keenly.  I do not know why I have avoided it.

I am changing lately, so much, and I feel it all of the time in whatever I'm doing.  Change is shocking and scary and other times unspeakably good.  Wonderful, refining, and life giving.  More often than not it's the woozy feeling of both, which is right now the look of my life.  I don't think you can see it on me from the outside looking in, because of course int he daily 'walking around life' there are many things to do, and I am mostly good at tricking people about these things.  Not always impressive, but true.

Lit With Hope

It's simple today.

In a big, gigantic hurting world like this one, there is sometimes nothing more comforting than coming home to your very own place.  I walked out of my school tonight with a pile of papers, through the flurries, through the traffic, and straight home to peace.  Pajamas, a candle, my fireplace, the tree.  I am delighting in Advent at home.

I have a lot of papers to grade tonight, but I took a minute to just enjoy that I am safe and warm and that even when I have that one last push of work, that one last stack of papers to grade, I can still settle in to the mystery that is Christ.  Emmanuel, God with us.  He even sits with me while I grade.  

We need Him so deeply, and today I feel it.  Distinctly, a heart ache and a hope, and a light in the darkness.

A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices.